


Someday

by squireofgeekdom



Category: The Transformers (IDW Generation One)
Genre: An After Megatron Epilogue posted frantically before LL7 actually comes out, Incredibly gen-ish ship fic, M/M, Megatron is a major theme, Rodimus' trauma is Actually Acknowledged, mutually supportive boyfriends, post lost light 6
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-06-26
Updated: 2017-06-26
Packaged: 2018-11-19 12:46:55
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,047
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11313699
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/squireofgeekdom/pseuds/squireofgeekdom
Summary: In the aftermath, Drift and Rodimus finally have a moment to talk about the impact Megatron has had on both of them, and about their own past and future.





	Someday

**Author's Note:**

> More specific content warnings in the endnotes.
> 
> Thanks to rimahadley for beta reading!

“I’m - sorry I blew up back there.” Rodimus says, as they turn into the storeroom. 

 

“It’s - well.” Drift says, “It’s not alright. But - I understand. You’re going through a lot.” 

 

“You can tell that from my aura?” Rodimus asks, sitting down on one of the crates.

 

“That, and having been with you for most of the past week.” Drift smiles weakly and sits down next to him. “I’d ask if you’re feeling any better, but -”

 

“Let me guess, the answer’s no?” Drift shrugs; Rodimus sighs. “You’re right. I’m sorry.”

 

“You don’t need to apologize.” Drift says, “For earlier, yeah, but - not for how you’re feeling.”

 

Rodimus scrubs the heels of his palms against his optics. “I should be better than this.” He says, “I should just - be angry. I shouldn’t - I shouldn’t -” He runs his hands up and down his face. “I shouldn’t have let him stay back. I shouldn’t have - I - I don’t know what I’m going to tell Optimus - I - he wouldn’t ha-”

 

Drift sits across from Rodimus and takes Rodimus’ hands, holding them so he can speak chirolinguistically.  _ It’s okay. You’re okay.  _

 

The movement breaks Rodimus out of his train of thought, and he looks up at Drift, meeting his gaze.  _ It’s okay. You’re okay.  _ Drift repeats.

 

Cautiously, Rodimus moves Drift’s hands in return.  _ Thank you. _

 

Drift smiles, and doesn’t let go of Rodimus’ hands.

 

After a minute, Drift asks, “They told me about the trial - about him asking to be tried by the Knights of Cybertron. But I didn’t hear about how he ended up on your ship - not from you, anyway.”

 

Rodimus lets out a low  _ hah.  _ “Optimus - Optimus made him Captain. ‘Co-Captain’. Something about - it doesn’t matter. That was the sentence.”

 

“And you agreed?” 

 

He stares at the floor and shakes his head, as if he was trying to shift thoughts loose from his brain module. “Didn’t have much of a choice, did I?”

 

“It’s your ship. I should know, I gave it to you.” 

 

At that, Rodimus looks up at him.  _ Thank you. _

 

Drift smiles. After a moment, he asks again. “So why did you say yes?”

 

“Didn’t. Just - couldn’t - don’t argue with Optimus Prime when he says ‘this is the way it’s gonna be’. Especially after he said I should’ve -” He sighs. “Couldn’t say no to Prowl. Couldn’t say no to Optimus. Couldn’t say no to you. Heh. Don’t think most people would call ‘being a doormat’ one of my flaws, but.” 

 

“Taking the blame was my choice.” 

 

“And you’re  _ my _ crew. You’re my responsibility. I shouldn’t have let you go, and I shouldn’t have left you behind.” He says, holding Drift’s hands tightly. “I shouldn’t have left you behind.”

 

“I’m not angry with you,” Drift says, then adds, because he knows Rodimus won’t believe the omission, “Anymore.”

 

“I didn’t come back because I was scared. I was scared of  _ that _ . I broke my -” He shakes his head. “I won’t leave you behind again. Not you. Ever again. Not -”

 

“You couldn’t have gotten all of us back alive if you had waited.” Drift says, and he’s not talking about his own departure from the Lost Light anymore.

 

Rodimus pulls his hands away to bury his head in his hands. “Optimus made him  _ Co-Captain. _ ”

 

“That doesn’t mean it’s not okay to be relieved he’s gone. Rodimus,” Drift says, reaching his hand out to rest it on Rodimus’ jaw, tilting his head slightly upward, “ _ He shot you in the chest. _ If it hadn’t been for the Matrix -” Drift stutters. He doesn’t want to continue with that train of thought. A universe without Rodimus is unthinkable. Rodimus, looking down, clearly doesn’t want to revisit that moment either. “It’s okay to not want to see that face every day.” 

 

“But I did.” Rodimus said. “I did, Drift, I worked with him and I thought I was okay. Primus, I gave him back his  _ cannon _ ? I saved his  _ life _ ? How can I do that and - and -”

 

And Drift thinks of a human quote - ‘Can a man still be brave if he’s afraid?’ ‘That is the only time a man can be brave.’ And he says, “Because you’re braver than all of us. You always have been.”

 

“Drift -”

 

“Yes, you are. Listen to me, Rodimus, listen,” Drift says, “ _ It’s okay. _ It’s okay to be angry and it’s okay to be relieved and it’s okay to be confused or guilty about being relieved and - and it’s okay to miss him and it’s okay to not miss him and it’s okay to feel all those things at once. Believe me.”

 

Rodimus laughs, “That - that makes me sound pretty messed up.”

 

Drift - pauses. Considers for a moment. Finally, forces the words out of his throat. “Megatron is the only one who’s seen my spark.”

 

Rodimus’ head jerks up at that, looking straight at Drift, optics wide.

 

“The Decepticon initiation ceremony - there’s other people there, the high leadership, of course, and it was only early in the war that - but he was the one who -” Without realizing it, he’s curled up slightly, as though he’s trying to protect his chest - his spark. “I can be an Autobot another millenia or four, that piece of my spark casing will never come back.”

 

“Drift -”

 

“So we can be messed up together,” Drift says - asks, really, smiling weakly, “- right?”

 

Rodimus just stares at him, for a moment, before - “Yes - Primus, Drift, yes. Always, yes.” He reaches out, takes Drift’s hands again.  _ Yes. _

 

Without thinking, Drift moves forward and wraps his arms around Rodimus, who tucks his head against Drift’s chest and holds on like Drift’s the only thing keeping him from shaking apart. 

 

After a few moments, Drift says - “I don’t - “ And then stops, unable to find the words.

 

Rodimus leans back to give himself space to look at Drift. “Drift?”

 

Drift takes Rodimus’ hands off his side and holds them.  _ I don’t want  _ him  _ to be the only one. Not forever.  _

 

Rodimus stares at him. Drift leans in and presses a kiss to his forehead. 

 

“I gave the Lost Light to you. Not Optimus, not Megatron, not anybody else. You.”  _ You,  _ He repeats again, chirolinguistically.

 

Rodimus is perfectly frozen for several moments. Then he moves his hands in return.  _ Someday? _

 

Drift signs back,  _ Someday. _

 

He doesn’t let go of Rodimus’ hands.

**Author's Note:**

> References That Time Megatron Literally Shot Rodimus Point Blank In The Chest Back In The Day, a shot that Should Have Killed Him, I'm Just Saying, Someone Could Acknowledge that That Happened.
> 
> References the fact that the Decepticon Initiation Ceremony involving taking a piece off your spark casing is kinda messed up.


End file.
